Medical Cocaine to be Legalized after Medical Marijuana

In Harrisburg, the State House has been debating whether or not to make Pennsylvania the 24th state to green light medical marijuana. It seems like yesterday the whole world was against the drug, but dank piece by dank piece, the heady puzzle of pot legalization is seeing some nugs of fruition. While old men roll up their sleeves and smoke out this debacle, we can only hope this will lead to other drugs like medical cocaine becoming legal. A kid can dream, can’t he?

Medical Cocaine to be Legalized after Medical Marijuana


In typical legislation fashion, the big-ticket bill will tear some deep spliffs, I mean riffs, amongst politicians. While several states are jumping on board the marijuana train, the topic is still amongst controversy. Just like 12 Angry Men, it’s going to take some keen persuasion to get everyone around on the same verdict. Colorado has reported millions in profits and seeks to use that money for infrastructure, schools and, ironically enough, anti-drug education. Despite this, there’s always one guy who just can’t put Reefer Madness behind him.


Leave it to the Republican party to ruin a good time. One of their minions, Matt Baker is a stern opponent of legalizing marijuana. It doesn’t matter that he was probably getting blazed with his buds back at Corning Community College or railing lines of medical cocaine with Punxatawney Phil (turns out that was the reason for several longer winters). Matt Baker hates fun, and now he wants the whole state of Pennsylvania to hate it too. In his plea, Baker spent more than an hour listing his problems with the bill. Using lame excuses like drugs are bad doesn’t seem to work anymore.


Matt Baker and his old fashioned cronies may be blocking the road for pot, but they’re a dying breed. Soon enough, cannabis will be some as common as Budweiser and our country will be better for it. So does that mean the legalization of harder drugs like cocaine will be next? The “War on Drugs” has proven to be a failure. The economic and societal benefits for universal legalization have already been discussed.

Given the reputation of cocaine, it’s understandable why so many are against it. The fact is, regulating it will do no harm. Cocaine is already available in every American city, albeit the quality is hardly worth the money anymore. That aside, kids are getting high, and criminals are making money. If drugs became legal, kids would still be getting high but the government would be making money. Wait, politicians are criminals too, though. What am I getting at? I lost my train of thought. Must be that Purple Kush I had earlier.